A Baker's Blog

Last Day in Ireland

2010-02-27T21:38:00.000-08:00

Before the Sexually Deranged Cat Wrangler has a chance to impose more rules upon us we get up early and hit the road. First step to getting to Slaehead: back out of the parking space. Brandi had a few problems with this. After the 3rd attempt we finally mount the curb onto the sidewalk, "Uh Brandi, you know we're not in reverse." Reply, "Oh god, I was wondering what was wrong." After that it was all forward driving, except when I stuck my head out the window to take a picture and lost my hat... Yet again we lucked out with fantastic weather while we toured through this hidden gem that is the Dingle coast. Unfortunately we weren't able to visit the Cliffs of Moher or the Gap of Dunloe, but traveling along this coast through the tiny villages is something I wouldn't change; it's where you see the true Ireland. However, the Cliffs of Moher and the Gap of Dunloe are now an excuse for me to go back.

After looping through this peninsula we headed for Killarney. There we were able to stretch our legs and go for a hike to see some of their famous waterfalls. Uncle Rob was also able to sweat out some of his hangover. Justine also sported her skinny jeans and skater shoes, her favourite fashion statement. At this point we thought we should probably find out when the last bus to Rosslare Harbour leaves from Cork...

"An hour and a half."
"And how long does it take to get to Cork from here?"
"An hour and a half."
"Of course it does... Shit."

Well, time to pick up the pace and most importantly... not get lost. By this point my navigation skills were so finely tuned I didn't even need the map; this to Uncle Rob's unease... it was a good laugh. We drop the car at the airport and catch a cab to the bus station with only minutes to spare, until we find out they're behind schedule. This was not looking good for us. Here's where things get really interesting.

So our bus leaves late and we catch a connection in Waterford which is also behind schedule. After 5 hours of dealing with the worst bus system I've ever encountered we arrive at Rosslare Harbour. The last ferry to Wales leaves at 9:45 pm and it's 9:50pm. We make a mad dash with our stuff dragging behind us hoping they are also behind schedule... They're not, we missed it. But, to our luck another company had their last ferry delayed because a lady fell down the stairs, "Are we bad people for being happy about this?" We buy our tickets and as we board the ferry we pass our lucky charm who is still stranded on the stairs, "Thank you unfortunate lady." With a 3.5 hour journey ahead, some of us sleep, some watch movies and one lucky person battles sea-sickness. *It was kind of fun trying to walk on the upper levels though.

We dock in Fishguard and have an hour wait before we catch a series of trains into Cardiff. After napping in multiple awkward positions and one final cab ride we arrive at our cousin Mathew's house, it only took...

1.5 hrs to Cork
5 hrs to Rosslare
3.5 hrs to Fishguard
3 hrs to Cardiff

Total: 13 hours of buses, boats, trains, cars and a crazy timetable with luck.

**If anything were missed we'd lose a whole day in Cardiff and have nowhere to sleep that night.

Irish Road Trip

2010-02-26T13:56:00.000-08:00

The day starts with a bit of confusion on Brandi's part. Which side does the car operate from? And the transmission may take a small beating, but we got full coverage so let's F this mother up. While it provided me with a bit of a laugh Uncle Rob took the first shift behind the wheel, although I did catch him on the wrong side of the road a couple times. Right, and I should mention that we did almost get trampled by a horse and a pony on our way to get the car. Apparently it's quite common for a big city like Dublin, kewl. With our car packed and our 90's version of a GPS... a map, we set out to dizzy ourselves in as many roundabouts as possible with only my exquisite navigation skills to lead the way. And go, "So how the fuck do we get out of Dublin?" The map only shows motorways. Park. I get out and find a cabbie for directions. After using the Irish/English translator app on my iPhone the directions are as follows... "Turn left, go over the bridge and keep going in that direction (he points). Don't worry about street signs or any of that shit, you'll never get out of Dublin" Not feeling very confident we take to the road with a guarantee of getting lost. 30 minutes later... "No F'ing way, his directions worked perfectly." We're on the motorway toward Wicklow Mountains National Park and Trim Castle where Braveheart was shot.

Lesson of the day: Don't take advice from the 19 year-old at the hostel desk... he doesn't know shit. Believe it or not Trim Castle is in the town of Trim (wish I had of seen that on the map... map 1 - Scott 0), which, is conveniently situated an hour from Dublin in the exact opposite direction. On the plus side we witnessed some gorgeous landscape on the east coast and did meet one very helpful person whom Uncle Rob dubbed as, "A DICK! A big fucking DICK!" This DICK also enforced the fact that we were only 5 minutes away from Trim Castle. Back in the car, backtrack time.

Trim Castle: yet another photography gold mine. For me castles are like Christmas morning to an 8 year-old. This one being used for Braveheart, well, I almost had to change my pants. We were also so lucky to catch a Santa Claus parade while there. As for the castle I believe the photos can describe it better than my words. As for Justine, she was more interested in the sheep. It's a shame they didn't like her. It's a bigger shame didn't dislike her enough to head butt her... purely for my amusement of course. Next.

After a couple hundred miles, some superb navigation and tiny winding roads that make anyone feel like a rally racer, we arrive in Tralee; a small town in the Dingle Peninsula of Kerry County. Park. "Now if only I'd found the directions to the hostel this would be a lot easier. Wait, there it is right behind us." My navigation is working on a sub-conscious level.

We unload the car and settle in to our hostel where a few surprises await us. In the bathrooms there are snails the size of golf balls above our heads. In the rooms there's abandoned shoes and condoms that have been used under the bed. Then we're welcomed by a sexually deranged cat wrangler who happens to run the place, "Few ground rules, no sexual activity or group orgies... unless I can videotape of course. Okay, enjoy your stay." On that messed up note it's time to get the hell out and find some food and drinks. We find a nice low key pub where we meet a fun local who buys us some baby guinnesses and tells us all about Ireland, including Slaehead which is now our new destination. Returning back to the hostel the girls are graced with more rules from the Sexually Deranged Cat Wrangler, "You have to be quiet and go to bed, it's passed curfew and my cats need their sleep because they have to get up early." ... creepy.

Dublin

2010-01-08T00:37:00.000-08:00

At last we arrive at the hostel where I can properly battle this hangover with water and sleep. NOT!!! We get there and we're forced to wait 7 hours before we can check into our room, "ASSHOLES" Then they tell us we can wait in the common room and to put our luggage in their storage for €2 each, "Not likely, we're already paying to stay here... DOUBLE ASSHOLES" So we take over every couch and pillow in the common room and looked so awful that no one bothered us the whole time, "Damn right" Once we finally settled into our room we went to find some dinner and check out Dublin a bit.

After humming and hahing for 20 minutes we finally decided on what looked to be a traditional Irish pub. Blah, blah, blah, eat, eat, eat. Next. That day wasn't to eventful as Sober Scott had to pay the price for Drunk Scott's actions the previous night. the girls, however, hit up Temple Bar (which is actually a little artistic/party district) and as I recall their price tag that night was just shy of €100... each, But hey, it's VACAY!! Our next day we made sure to explore and enlighten ourselves of Dublin. It started with a tour of the city where we saw the origins of U2, a very poor excuse for a castle, learned some history of Vikings, clans and some drunken uprising attempts. Then it was off to the Guinness Factory, which was just straight up awesome. Learned all about the history and how it's made and after wandering the 7 floors (shaped like a pint glass) were rewarded with a Guinness... Boo Ya! That night we finally sorted out the next step of our UK run around. This consisted of a rental car, no clear destination and myself as the navigator.

Next Stop... Dublin

2010-01-08T00:36:00.000-08:00

So naturally the most entertaining person (me) sits in the front seat of the cab and offers an amazing 2.5 minutes of conversation before passing out. When I wake from my slumber I hate life, "Damn that bouncy castle. I've made up my mind, I hate the person that came up with the idea of putting one in a bar." Firstly, I can't believe I was still able to function and lead the way through the airport. Secondly, it's a mystery to myself and everyone else how I made it through the checks while being fully loaded. Once I made it through it was back to passing out on a bench where in my mental absence I continued to offer entertainment, but you'll have to ask Brandi and Justine for that story.

Woke up, did the zombie walk through more checks, onto the plane and resumed my drunken slumber. Once again, for accurate details on this portion of the trip see Brandi or Justine. But, apparently we had quite a rough landing which shook people around the plane before a halting stop bent everyone forward into Muslim prayer position. All of this excitement, I slept through. All I recollect is being the last on the plane then dragging my intoxicated alter ego through the airport process all over again.

Return to Scotland

2010-01-04T02:36:00.001-08:00

It was a long, strenuous and non profitable four weeks back with IPG. Got screwed around and just didn't see any motivation from them to get this Canada idea off the ground. Maybe for the best, now I don't have to worry about it and it's one less distraction from my real goals. But, finally made it back to Scotland where my most recent crazy adventure begins. In keeping my promise to my cousin Justine, I waited around in the UK for her to come over and do a bit of traveling... my style. However, while waiting an innocent "Hello" phone call added Brandi to the mix. Then less than 36 hours before departure our Uncle Rob joined the team. So lets get started. Our first day in Edinburgh consisted of some sight-seeing and a night at the pub Biddy Mulligan's to commence our 10 day UK tour. Also helped cure their jet-lag and my restlessness from a 10 hour bus ride from London. However, the real party took place in Glasgow where we met with Robbie and Amy to see The Hip... for £12 = $20. What made it even better was there being less than 250 people there; almost like having a private show. Must give props to everyone that night for putting on their drinking hats and making that night one of the highlights of the trip... Amy lost her charger, Robbie his second phone in a week and myself for being the only crowd surfer. Oh yeah, and whoever found the bouncy castle. Yes, the infamous love/hate relationship with a bouncy castle. That relationship is like condensing a drinking cycle; you get drunk, have a great time, hit the hangover and feel like shit all in a span of 5 minutes... I felt like death, "Whoever came up with the idea to put a bouncy castle in a bar is either a genius or a retard, I have yet to decide." When the night finally came to an end it was deep-fried sausage and haggis for everyone (even Robbie) and Brandi discovered her new favourite dish. Next steps: a night in an airport, a scary landing and a long wait in a Dublin hostel... all while hungover, someone shoot my face off.

12 DAYS IN SOUTHAMPTON

2009-11-18T14:56:00.000-08:00

Upon my return to London I shacked up on the couch back at my old flat, you guys still rock, as do the new additions to the flat... Sophie. Also, hit the streets again with IPG, made £350 in my first week back... yeah that's right, I still got it. But looking for some cheap rent and a chance to see other parts of England I took a little break from London and did a quick 12-day stint in Southampton to smash it up... didn't go quite as planned.

Nice little area, definitely a bit quieter than other regions from the sounds of it, but nonetheless it ended on some interesting notes, starting with our pet goats. Yeah, I got to hang with Cheech and Chong, The Pet Goats... yeah that’s right, who else has pet goats.

Day 1 - Bored
Day 2 - Boreder
Day 3 - Really Bored
Day 4 - Hating it there
Day 5 - Had a couple beers
Day 6 - Had pasta for the 5 night in a row (even dinner was boring)
Day 7 - Worked out
Day 8 - Worked out
Day 9 - Worked out and made the flatmate jealous
Day 10 - Really Fucking bored with dinner and working out
Day 11 - Had to be kept away from rope and sharp objects
Day 12 - Read the following

Can’t say I did my best sales while there, actually my first week I ended up owing some money. Not the best feeling in the world but at the same time a good experience. Learned a few things on my own and from the long time sales dude Toby and turned it around the second week. After two weeks of peace and quiet I should have known that it wouldn’t stay that way for long. My last day there was some excitement and laughs, if not for anyone else, definitely for me. It started with an idiot named Dom riding around on his £300 motorized skateboard.

In and out of the market he goes,
He hits a bump and it slips from his toes,
Flying solo onto the street,
It gets hit by a car… and I laugh my ass off

As if that wasn’t enough, IPG’s very own aspiring INDY driver, decided to change my laughter to sheer terror. Driving back from the market we accelerate, and accelerate, and accelerate. The rest of traffic has stopped, and we continue to accelerate.

Here’s what’s going through our minds:

Dom’s – I have no idea, my guess – “The wheels on the bus go round and round…” Mine - He’ll stop… He’ll stop soon… He should start slowing down now… He’s speeding up…
“Dude are you going to Fucking stop?!!”
“What?... Oh shit!!!”

In a feeble attempt to stop, after it's far too late, we avoid hitting the car in front of us by inches by swerving into other lanes of traffic. Miraculously the car didn’t even suffer a scratch, however, our hearts were close to matching the RPM’s and thankfully I didn’t have lunch that day or I may have had a problem in my pants after that close call.

So I did leave Southampton with a bit of excitement and stories. But I have no intentions on heading back there anytime. But for now it’s back to London and I can’t help but wonder what craziness I’ll encounter there.

The Last Leg

2009-10-23T04:09:00.001-07:00

So as promised this past week was ridiculous. I know I left Berlin as a bit of a cliffhanger but to be honest that was just to keep you reading. Berlin included some kewl sight seeing, Inglorious Bastards (sic movie by the way) and a pub crawl that left me drunk off 1 euro Jager shots and in a fight with a mid-thirties Indian dude… yeah, it was fun. Knowing Berlin was going to be a bit of a let down for those following my adventures I felt I had to make up for it in Prague, Cesky Krumov and Vienna.

Prague:
This is a damn kewl city. Planned to stay for only 3 days, ended up being there for 5. Hit up some sic bars, did a really good walking tour… Sorry, I know you don’t want to hear about the boring itinerary, so I’ll get the stupid things I did. The 3 guys I was sharing a room with we made a pact that we wouldn’t leave anyone behind and find our way back to the hostel, unless we picked up. So, second night there we did the pub crawl (surprised, of course not) which started with THE HOUR OF POWER (which actually lasts 1.5 hrs) and this was a damn good crawl. By the end we were all over the place and I was improving my French with two girls I met, one guy had a cute Czech girl under his arm and the other 2 had disappeared. Looks like a good night, yeah… not at all. 4am: the 2 girls say good night and head to their hostels because their boyfriends are pissed at them. The guys in my room ????? (I found out later their luck wasn’t any better). So now I’m standing alone in the town square and have to find my way home. I don’t know why, but when God created me in his image he must have thought it’d be really funny to install a broken compass in my brain… he got a really good laugh that night. I got on the tram at 4:19, and unintentionally went on an early morning tour of the city in every possible direction but the right one. By the time I found the hostel I had been on 4 different trams (one of which I had to chase down the road) and walked countless blocks. I finally went to bed at 6:45am… To my disappointment all the guys were there; we’ll just have to do better on the next one. Second pub crawl: much better, we even got in a huge fight with 2 cabbies because they tried to charge 800 Krone per cab, F that, we gave them 800 for both. It was hilarious because they’re yelling at us in Czech and my friends were yelling at them in English and my laughing just encouraged it. We finally understood each other at the end when we all said good night with the middle finger. Isn’t sign language great, it’s completely universal.

Cesky was much of the same fun, minus angry cabbies. Beautiful little medieval town though, highly recommend a visit and Hostel 99 was like a big camping cabin with a party happening all the time. Vienna: Was only there one night, but wow, what a way to end my travels. First went to Centimeters and ordered The Wheelbarrow. It is literally a miniature wheelbarrow full of schnitzel, pork, 3 types of pasta and salads. Then it was off to The Travelbar………………………. It was ridiculous fun and after introducing some new shots to the bartenders they took it upon themselves to make sure I couldn’t see straight when I left… and I couldn’t. They would be proud to know that I didn’t make it to my room. I walked in the hostel laid down on the couch in the lounge and went to sleep; the first floor was just too many stairs away… until the cleaning lady woke me up and showed me to my room, what a nice lady… too bad she couldn’t have woken me up to catch my bus.

Amster - DAMN

2009-10-23T04:06:00.000-07:00

So after surviving Okoberfest I was off to Bruges for a couple days where our little travel family from June re-united. We thought these couple days would be a bit of a rest period before Amsterdam… I was wrong. We found a bar with over 300 different types of beer (Blackman, it had a glass for every beer, we'll need to make a few trips so you can steal them all), so I decided I was going to try as many of them as possible. Sadly I only made it through eight. In my defense, I didn’t realize until afterwards that the beers I had been drinking were all between 9 and 12 percent, it explains why the night seemed to fast forward itself.

**After discovering that I thought of a great drinking game. A whole bunch of us go there, get the menu and collectively drink every beer. If you're lucky you get some beers that are 4%, if you aren't you get beers that are 12%... luck of the draw.

Drinking Team:
Myself
Bman
Johhny Marc
Pisan
Junes
Brandi
Woodzy
Monty
Blackman
Mikey
Russo
Barker
Fieldy
Krawec
Bench warmer: Justine

Tutty, Rach and Zack... you three can be the cheer squad!!!!

Honourable mention: Sherwin... you better earn it, no vodka water bar lime

Apart from shinanagans, I did manage to explore Bruges a bit. I checked out the bell tower; the best part is once you get to the top for the great view, you get to go back down the 300 something winding stairs, (one for every beer).

Amsterdam:

??????????????????????????????????????... that was the first night. I had some space cakes and learned that I don’t like being inside or sitting still, unless I’m in bed… so that’s what I did. This is definitely one of the kewlest cities I’ve been to. Just the design of it with the canals, the atmosphere and constant threat of being run over by a bike. This is one place I would never dare ride a bike, it’s simple, I would die and probably take some unfortunate local with me into the canal. In these few days we also managed to take a day trip out of the city, which is something I definitely recommend if the chance is there. It was also one of our friend’s birthdays and she unknowingly had some special ingredients added to her desert, she wasn’t thrilled, but seemed to enjoy later on, right Becks.

The Rematch: Scottie Baker vs Munich (Oktoberfest)

2009-10-11T03:36:00.001-07:00

Last time I wrote there was still the uncertainty of where I would be sleeping on the Friday night… I know everyone must have been worried but it’s okay, I managed to get a bed. So, as you know I won the first round of the rematch; partially due to my jet lag still wearing off, but regardless I won.

Round 2 (Wednesday):

It was a good start; this time around I went on a bike tour through Munich. I saw much more of the city this time around, took some amazing photos and had some lunch and a stein at the Chinese Garden. Not to mention riding through the nudist park… right in the middle of the city, weird. That night met up with Briege, from the last trip, and her friends (kewl group of kids). Had some drinks and went to Oktoberfest. This was a lot more than I expected, there were rollercoaster’s, funhouses, drop rides etc. It kicked ass until we left… and I got lost, mother F’er. So even though Munich made a late attempt and it took me an hour to find my way home I still won Round 2.

Round 3 (Thursday):

Munich starts playing dirty and I have to put up with the loudest, most annoying and disgusting sounding snorers I’ve ever encountered. Two of them sounded as though they were having a competition and snored perfectly opposite each other not leaving a split second of silence in the room. Then, the third stooge would chime in from the corner and he honestly sounded like he was choking on his dinner from the previous night, “I don’t care if he is choking, if that’s the case it’ll be a bit quieter soon” Sorry is that too cruel? I didn’t care at this point, this nocturnal orchestra kept me up the next two nights. Anyway, aside from my short rant. Thursday was my first true taste of Oktoberfest and to make it simple… it kicked my ass. We started drinking at 10:30am and I was passed out in my hostel by 8pm and awake again at 1am with a rough hangover. Although Munich won round 3 it was tons of fun, especially the Schwim song (Jemmy!!! Angry faces)… and then there was the 25 euro chicken I bought (Georgie I hope you enjoyed it, the next one is on you). One final blow Munich delivered before the end of the round: I lost my UK phone and got lost again.

Round 4 (Friday):

Upside to being hung over at 1am, you feel great by 9am and are ready to go again. We get some breakfast and head back to the tents; this time far better prepared. Once again I ended up super drunk. However, before reaching that stage we hit up 3 tents, had some awesome lunch/dinner, I finally got the girls their gingerbread hearts… Briege has hers, Georgie ate hers lol. Best of all was the funhouses; when super drunk they are the most fun things in the world. We were having so much fun that the staff had to start forcing us along, until I got one of them to join in the fun on the hamster wheel, “Atta boy random German dude!!!” The group of 10 year olds behind us was not impressed. Best of all, I didn’t get lost on the way back to the hostel, mainly because I had two lovely ladies to escort me but that’s beside the point. This day would be ruled as a draw.

The Score Card reads: Round 1 – Scottie Baker
Round 2 - Scottie Baker
Round 3 – Munich
Round 4 - Draw

So to conclude we have both won a match, looks like I’ll be making a trip back sometime for the rubber match to end this epic battle.

The "Bird"

2009-08-11T19:32:00.000-07:00

As of this day (some day in February) drinking at Dirty Dicks, an EpiphiTree hit me in the face (Homer Simpson). The bird is an amazing creature; it can represent the soul. If you let it go it will soar in the sky, you'll have a new view on life and the world. The feeling of weightlessness and infinite paths you can take and destinations you can go is what will set you free. This is why I'll name my first bar... THE BIRD

I'm Coming Home

2009-08-04T22:05:00.001-07:00

So it’s been 5 ½ months since I left and hell yeah it went by fast. Still not quite sure what exactly I’ve taken away from it yet, I think I may realize it more over the next couple months while I’m home. Despite all the ups and downs and the negative bank accounts I’d still do it all again the exact same way, especially the last 5 weeks. Not saying the first 4 months weren’t good; Robbie & Amy thanks for the help at the start and showing me a bit of Scotland; still have to do my Highlands tour. Matthew & Ceri, Vince and Alan, thank you for the two crazy weekends and all the help provided; still have to do a weekend rafting. As for London, can’t say it’s high on the list of favourite places, but Claudia, Anna, Jason, Lucas and the kids at 17c and all the crazy bastards at IPG, you guys made it fun and worthwhile.

Now as far as the last 5 weeks go, I’ve said most of it in my posts along the way and I can’t think of how to describe it other than, “Let’s do that again!” Thankfully I won that trip otherwise it would have never happened. I know many of you hate me right now, but if I didn’t win it none of you would have had the pleasure of my company lol, but more importantly I wouldn’t have met any of you. On that note I know I’ll see some of you again. Some back on the Big Blue Bus in October, some when I make my way to Australia, some when I rejoin the IPG team and the others… who knows, it’s crazy how small the world becomes when you finally decide to explore it. You guys know you’re always welcome at my place if you ever find yourself lost with a hockey stick in your hand. For those I may never see again, flick on the TV every once in a while and sooner or later you’ll find me.

Now for my final thought that’s meant to inspire everyone… “Yeah right, like hell that’ll happen.” All I know is that one main reason I did this was because I was really confused, about what? Still not sure and I’m returning just as confused, but in a way that I can be happy about, also I’m still trying to avoid growing up. For this I thank everyone I met along the way that helped, I wish you all the best.

Running with the Bulls

2009-07-29T17:47:00.001-07:00

Now I realize it’s been a couple week since I did the run but it’s not something you easily forget. So John, Anastasia and I take a nap to prepare us for the crazy 14 hours to come………. Now that we’re well rested we catch the last bus to Pamplona, which was a free-for-all mosh pit. Upon arriving we were awe struck at the masses of people everywhere. People sleeping in parks, bus stops, anywhere flat. Streets were completely packed and chaotic. We grabbed a quick snack and a beer then made our way to the square where the real party was. We thought what we already saw was awesome, this was the center of the mayhem and killed it 10 fold.

By far the biggest party I’ve been to… yet. Live music until 3 am, broken glass everywhere, everyone stained pink hopping from bar to bar with no regard for capacity, age, drunkenness, etc. Anything goes… and absolutely everything went. Why buy booze at the bar when the shops stayed open all night and sold litre boxes of sangria for 2 euro and you could simply walk in to the bar with it, “I think I just found an equation where every possible result is me being drunk.”… I went with option 3, result = drunk Scottie Baker. Around 4:30 we decided to leave the party, which was still going just as strong, and find a place to nap. The place we found… an underground bus garage. It didn’t have a single but in it, however, it was packed with about 200 people with the same idea. Some people you could tell were veterans at this, they had their sleeping bags, pillows, one guy even made a cardboard tent.

After an hour and a half power nap (using my wineskin as a pillow) we were ready to run. I met up with some other Busabout kids and we found our spot on the course just past Dead Man’s Corner. After waiting there for a couple hours everyone was kicked out 20 minutes before the run started. So Mark and I make a mad dash through the town, losing everyone else on the way, and manage to make it back in just before Dead Man’s Corner. Now the butterflies start to float. Random noises and bangs cause some people to panic and start running early. Then, BOOM!!! The first canon goes and most people start running. Mark and I move with the crowd but don’t run because we actually want to see the bulls coming. The second canon goes and we don’t fully see the bulls but we do see the chaos round the corner and then we were off. It took no more than 30 seconds for us to lose each other and within 45 seconds the bulls were passing me, “Holy fuck they caught up fast” Now that they were within arms reach I wanted to get the hell out of the way. I try to veer to the side, nope, it’s about 8 people deep crammed into 3 feet of space, “Well if I can’t squeeze in beside them, I’m going on top.” So I jump up and grab some dude and pull myself up onto about 4 sets of shoulders. They didn’t seem too pleased about it but too bad, time to keep running. Once the danger passed everyone flooded the street again and followed the bulls.

As I near the entrance of the arena I hear more screams from behind me. Somehow in all the reading I did and all the people I spoke with I never managed to catch a tiny piece of info that would have warned me they send out a second group. Now I’m caught in round 2 and playing the most intense game of Frogger ever. Now that I dodged round 2 I had to get into the arena. Unfortunately I didn’t make it into the arena since a police officer clothes-lined me to the ground as the gates were closing, “But this allowed 2 other guys to slide in, your welcome random dudes.”

So… now to get home. I start wandering around Pamplona solo hoping to find some people. Surprisingly I ran into 2 people from Madrid including Kyle who evaded ASG with my. But luckily it didn’t take long to find John and Anastasia. We jumped back on a bus and that concluded our crazy 14 hours in Pamplona

San Sabastian

2009-07-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

So the entire backpack adventure was based around being here for the Running of the Bulls… but that’s whole other story, hahaha I’ll keep you waiting, for now: San Sabastian. It was a bit shit that once we got there everyone was scattered all over the town in different hostels. Oh well, I stayed at Olga’s where I met John from Milwaukee and Anastasia from Stockholm. That night was another relaxed one considering the day I just had, plus we had to rest for Pamplona…………………………… So we get back from our crazy Pamplona experience and crash. That night was low key as well; Anastasia and I made some dinner and watched a tribute to Michael Jackson and Sweet Home Alabama, very random.

So far we’d had very poor weather, which was really disappointing since San Sab has some of the best beaches in Spain, and definitely the best I’ve seen yet. This day started the same. Meh, Anastasia and I walked around Old Town for a bit, “ F’ing impossible to find the Spain patches anywhere, it makes no sense, I don’t know what kind of souvenir shops they’re running… but they suck.” After that we made the hike up the hill to the Jesus statue. This hike was nothing compared to Cinque Terre, (I don’t think anything can compare to that) but still offered an awesome view of the city. Of course while we’re up there the sun finally makes an appearance after 3 days and we’re at the furthest possible spot from the beach. We made our way back to the hostel and hit the beach as quickly as we could. But once we get there the sun decides to play hide and seek behind the clouds, “Whatever, we’re beachin’ it.” And I still managed to get burnt. As for the beach I have one thing to say, “I love waves.” That night we all met up for Mark’s birthday and it got messy, however I stayed reasonable… I had no choice, I only had 30 euro to get me home.

Now I know some of the stupid things I’ve gotten myself into and bizarre things that have happened to me may seem a bit far-fetched but I assure you every word I’ve written is true… including this. I get back to my hostel and walk into my room to find all the beds are taken, guess who’s in my bed……………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… some random fat naked dude. One of the girls in my room brought him back, and both girls were quite attractive. So either he’s a really smooth sweet talker or he gave them a roofie-colada because he was an ugly MoFo. Anyway, I have a random fat naked dude passed out in my bed. I get the security guard and he tries to get the guy out of the bed but fails, “Not that it makes a difference, you really think I’m gonna sleep in the bed after that.” I finally convince him that I’m fine to sleep on the couch in the common room and solve it in the morning.

A few hours later I wake up to people having breakfast, literally around me. Good side to random fat naked guy, he just got me a free night at the hostel. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be though. I had to argue with them and explain in great detail why they had to refund my money… security of this place = very poor. But, now I’ve just doubled the funds to 60 euro haha. After that debacle I took a nap, “Oh yeah, you think they’d change the sheets but I had to whinge about that as well.” Later I met up with Nikki, Beck, Mark and Michael to hit the beach, “This was finally the weather I’d been looking for in San Sab” Oh yeah, and I did mention I love waves, I could swim in them all day.

Ran into Anastasia later at the hostel and we all met back at Mark’s hostel for drinks since this was my last day of vacay (the next 3 would be spent finding my way to the True North Strong and Free). That night got messy, ended late and there was no one in my bed when I got back… bonus. However, I didn’t sleep much since I was paranoid of missing the bus. But couple of the girls did lol. Well that’s that, back on the big blue bus to Paris.

Other Great Moments:

A girl runs out of Zibibo’s and projectiles. Mark and I kill ourselves laughing as people walk through and slip in it hehehe. We even helped the cause by calling/waving to people to distract them so they’d walk through it. This really pissed off a group of Spanish dudes lol. Then when we weren’t even paying attention a girl slipped and ass landed in it, what made it great though was that she was the friend of the puker… what a night.

The Amazing Evasion

2009-07-14T14:16:00.001-07:00

As mentioned earlier: a pool table, internet and a vending machine full of 1 euro beer is what brought this together. We thought it would be a fun challenge to see how many buttons we can get sold out, “I know you’re all probably shaking your head at me right now, but I know for a fact if any of you: Sherwin, Junes, Blackman, Zack, Matt, B, Johhny-Marc, Woodzy, Onya, Pam, Brandi, J, Mikie, Robbie, Judd, Houtby, Barks, Polgs, Tutty, Pisan… hell this list could go forever, you know who you are and you know if you were there with me you’d be just as game.” It was harder than we thought, by then end one button was sold out and the second had to be close, which is pretty good considering there were only 6 of us. We even got Angry Spanish Guard (ASG) to turn it back on so we could have one more each. Dumbass shouldn’t have left us unattended, “That’s like leaving a fat kid alone in a candy store and believing he’s only going to eat one candy.” He was only gone for 30 seconds be we managed to get 4 more each… this was the first step to pissing off ASG.

By the time we got kicked out of the common room it was only Kyle from the States, and 2 Aussie girls Beck & Nikki and myself. Rather than going to bed like ASG told us to, “I mean what the shit is that? I’m 23 and on vacay and I’m being given a bed time… well he just enticed a drunk Scottie Baker, and he thought I was loud before, hahaha.” So we snuck onto the rooftop patio; can’t be seen or heard up here… okay I lie about the second part, it was impossible not to hear us at this point. Anyway, the girls weren’t feeling it was such a good idea and decided to turn back and call it a night, passing ASG on the stairs, “Shit, now we’re trapped.” So Kyle and I race to the very top of the building and hop over a wall onto the roof of an adjacent building, “Okay we’re good, he’ll never look here, we just have to stay quiet.” That lasted a solid 5 seconds until Kyle slipped and fell and I burst out giggling… silence, “Do you think he heard us?”…. “GABADALALAJABEDEЙA”- translation – “Something VERY angry in Spanish.” RUN. Before I was even on my feet Kyle was already on the lower level of the rooftop patio. I follow his lead in panic and jump from one roof to the next, which was a good 10 – 12 ft drop. ASG was so pissed I think you could actually see a red glow as he chased us down the stairs screaming “GABADALALAJABEDEЙA” Kyle and I fly down the stairs to our room, which is right beside reception.. We start panicking as we can’t open the door because they’re the stupidest doors ever designed. You use these stupid bracelets that you wave in front of the handle then turn the lock gently half way, if you go too far it locks again. As the red glow gets brighter we grow more nervous until Kyle finally gets the door open. We instantly jump into our beds and pretend to sleep. Then a weird instinct tells me to strip down to my boxers so it looks like I’ve been in bed a while. Good thing because 2 seconds later ASG bursts in the room and rips the blankets off me and then a few others. Time for acting; looking disoriented and half asleep, “What the fuck, who are you?... What the fuck is your problem?” Everyone else who legitimately felt this way joined in my protest making him look like an idiot and pissing him off even more because it was clear we had gotten away. It was now somewhere around 3:30 – 4 and we couldn’t help but laugh ourselves to sleep.

All this fun had led to a very close call the next morning, as in 4 hours later. I wake up at 8:25 and our bus leaves at 8. Panicked I run into reception in my boxers, “Busabout?”… they left 2 minutes ago. I race back into my room, cram everything into my bag, do a quick check hoping I’m not forgetting anything. I fly out the room almost forgetting to get my deposit back then down the street still trying to dress myself. This little display gathers a few creepy catcalls and laughs from the locals, “Fair enough, I must have looked retarded.” Out of breath I arrive at the pick-up point to hear from all my friends, “Oh there he is, we knew he was somewhere.” Of course I was somewhere; that somewhere was in bed in a room that everyone had to walk by to leave the hostel. It’s okay, I forgive you guys, but now you’re stuck with me for 5 more days in San Sebastian for some bull running… which I’ve already had practice with the night before, thanks to ASG.

Madrid

2009-07-11T18:39:00.000-07:00

My time in Madrid was a bit scattered. First we met up with the 2 Kiwi girls, Linda and Andie, who we’ve randomly seen in the last couple cities. Here we also added another Aussie: Mark. Since we arrived so late that day we grabbed some dinner at a tiny nearby restaurant, “Finally some good value for your money, only the third meal that I haven’t been able to finish.”

Day 2 the girls did a bike tour and Mark and I did a tapas tour which was well spent afternoon for only 8 euros. That night we met up with the girls again for a Flamenco show, which I kept calling Flamingo, “Now in all the pics/albums you girls put up you're calling it Flamingo, so now you’ve confused me, but nothing google can’t help my with, I’ll get back to you on that.” The show was a bit expensive but fully worth it, one of the better things I’ve done. Just watching it makes you wish that you could it, but at the same time inspires you to perfect your own art, “Can’t wait to get back to my music and film, it’s killing me.” Also, over these few days we’ve furthered the engagement and got more people involved, “There’s definitely going to be a few people hating me when I get back.”

Day 3 was definitely low key. Feeling a bit tired and down I went with Linda, Andie and Mark to walk around the park; got some good pics and relaxed, I was also introduced to Calippo’s and now I’m hooked. That night, however, was polar opposite of the tame day we’d had. The 4 of us cooked up an awesome dinner, “By the 4 of us I mean Linda and Andie, thanks ladies.” I provided the wine, of which half ended up on Mark and I. So a pool table, internet and a vending machine full of 1 euro beer is what led to a night of drunken craziness and one super pissed off Angry Spanish Guard (ASG). I call this, “The Amazing Evasion”… stayed tuned, that’s next.

Madrid was definitely another memorable stop, not so much because of what it had to offer, rather the people I spent those 3 days with. Some good meals, entertainment, drunken adventures, new friends… a couple late night chats and the hardest good bye… nothing to hold onto but a bit of hope, but sometimes that's all you need.

Barcelona

2009-07-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

Apparently known for the “Elephant Man”, an old dude who walks around naked every day and has a tattooed speedo on his ass and elephant ears on the front. I didn’t see him but some of the girls did and apparently he lives up to the name. People actually asked me why I didn’t bother trying to find him, “Hmm, let’s think about this kids. These may be the only 3 days I’m ever in Barcelona and you think I’m going to go on a scavenger hunt for a giant penis… that’s a D- in time management”

Aside from the freak of nature, “And good on him” there was tons of things to do, see and try such as Paella and Tapas. The first night we all went out for tapas and my fiance almost found herself in a double engagement to a creepy old Spanish street pedlar until Kate delivered the most vicious stiff arm I’ve ever seen. Day 2 I took a free walking tour around La Rambla and got to see some of Gaudi’s work including his first piece when he was still a student. It was a light post, “It’s sounds boring but was kind of kewl for that time… I guess.” Then we saw a building just down the street from our hostel, which was his first professional work as an adult. The other great part about this tour was that you get a free drink with it.

That night was scheduled for the long awaited Spanish cooking class I’d signed up for. But after finding out that we didn’t actually get to cook and seeing that they had over booked it by close to double a few of us dropped out and went for the pub crawl instead. We did still go out for Paella, which was a massive meal that 5 of us couldn’t finish, and it was only a 3 person serving. We did the pub crawl which was a fun night but didn’t compare to Munich. I did however have my shirt ripped off more times than I could keep track of as Linda taught the girls how to rip domes off in one motion… and then came the practice, which by the end I was left with a big scratch down my chest and the girls had picked up a new trick to undressing a guy even quicker. After that they felt the need to volunteer me to clean whip cream off the birthday girl, “We know how this is done… funny thing is the pub crawl leader calls this a drinking game, but I didn’t get jack shit.” But this was my bachelor gift from the girls so I did it with a smile. Oh yeah, this was the night I got engaged.

Day 3 I did some shopping with the girls and finally hit the beach where Lauren and I met back up with Pete & Michelle, “Congrats you two.” That night I went for a walk on my own to do some photography and people were shocked that I would walk around La Rambla with my camera since it’s the #1 area in Europe for pit-pockets, “If someone can get a 4 lb camera off my neck without me noticing then they deserve it; and no one is going to be ballsy enough to straight up mug me when there’s that many people, including police around. People make such a big deal about it when it’s pretty simple; if you’re an idiot you’re going to get had, if you’re smart and take with you only the bare essentials, keep it in you’re front pocket with your hand in your pocket and just being aware of your surroundings you’ll be alright.” Sorry, started on a bit of a tangent there, but seriously just be smart.

While there I also learned some really interesting things about Barcelona. For the 94 Olympics the sand was imported from Egypt, palm trees from Hawaii and because of the Olympics it’s become such a hot spot for tourism, there’s useless knowledge for when you play Trivial Pursuit next. AND NOW THE JOURNEY CONTINUES…. To Madrid.

Nice

2009-07-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

So along the way we lost Phil, and Lauren stayed at a different hostel so it was Kate, Janey and I off to Villa Saint Exupery. I was a bit disappointed at first when I realized there was no pool. However, it was one of the best hostels I’ve stayed at thus far. First night we went out to meet all the Busabout crew at a bar called Wayne’s. It’s the exact type of bar I dig; live rock music, crazy partiers and cheap drinks. However, when they choose to let in double their capacity and it takes 30 minutes to get a drink everything else kind of lacks.

Day 2 wasn’t too exciting; the three of us went for a walk and chilled by the beach for a bit. Not exactly the best of beaches though, it was all stones, so not very comfortable. That night we opted for the home cooked meal the hostel offers and it was damn good. That night was relaxed as we played some UNO girls two English girls and an American. Even though it was a quiet night we managed to get in trouble for being too loud… in a bar, “Of the 40 drunk people in the bar somehow it was only us making noise… and for all those thinking I must have been drunk, I wasn’t, because then he would have really heard what loud was.”

Day 3 I trekked off on my own. First I went to find the Natural History Museum. I saw the one in London and liked it but this one was pretty weak. First it took me close to an hour to find because the signage was absolute shit. Then when I finally found it the place was equally shit. All it was was one room of aquatic stuff based solely from that area. The only enjoyable part was that I was that I was reading everything in French and understanding/improving my French. But that still only took up 20 minutes, so I went to the Museum of Contemporary Art thinking it would be good since it was advertised all over the city. But, there’s a reason these were both free… they sucked. So I spent the rest of the day walking along the coast while the Ironman Triathalon was going on and this made up for the poor museums. That night I met up with the girls and we attempted to go to Monaco to the Monte Carlo Casino. But a late shuttle made us miss the tram, causing us to miss the train ending our night in disappointment. But the good company, beautiful scenery and a great hostel made the weekend. Also I got lucky and managed to evade the police on the Tram each time, sorry for the bad luck girls lol. Now back on the bus headed to Barcelona

98% Idiots

2009-07-04T03:52:00.001-07:00

For those who have been following my “literature” this theory may sound a bit familiar as I made a brief mention of it in an earlier piece. This is a small theory that came to realization while exploring the Vatican Museum.

While walking around it was impossible to avoid being blinded by flashes and hearing the huffs and puffs of frustrated disapproval from those whose photo you just stepped into. “It’s their own fault, it’s the flashes from the idiots that is causing us to walk through peoples’ photos because we can’t see where the hell we’re going.” On that note, I guarantee I could call each of them idiots and only 1 out of 50 would have me put my foot in mouth by telling me what they were even taking a picture of. 98% of the people in there taking 100’s of photos of which 98% they have no knowledge of what they’re taking a photo of, “Ohhh, look a painting in a museum, I should take a picture.” Sorry, but one of the stupidest things you can do is take a photo of a painting or other photos, it’s never going to turn as good as the real thing. I heard one lady say to her son she wanted to blow up the picture she had taken of the Sistine Chapel and put it on her wall. To my pleasure her son replied, -Mom that’s stupid, it will look like crap, why not just buy a proper photo.- “Thank you random kid, I couldn’t have said it better myself” For those 2% of people that know what they’re looking at and have studied the history of it, good for you. I wish I had more knowledge of what I was looking at; it would have made it more interesting.

What I don’t understand is why people can’t just go there and enjoy it and take the time to appreciate what you’re looking at. Instead, these idiots race through the place and snap photos of every little thing they can without even reading about what they’ve just taken a photo of. Why? So when they go home they can show their friends dozens of photos of things they know nothing about and most won’t recognize, “That seems pretty idiotic to me.” The biggest display of my theory takes place in the Sistine Chapel. There are signs blatantly posted saying no filming or photography. Yet it’s like letting the Paparazzi into Britney Spears’ house while she’s babysitting. At least in here people know what they’re taking photos of. However, they’re still idiots because it’s not as though the Sistine Chapel is a mystery room, people know what it looks like. All of this is simply a way to prove you were there, but whom do you need to prove to? Why not just step out from behind the camera and try enjoying the presence of which you’re in, because that is more memorable than a photo the whole world has already seen.

Cinque Terre

2009-07-04T03:09:00.001-07:00

All I can say about this place is that it’s magnificent. It’s a place I’d never heard of but after reading about it and hearing other people rave about it I had to stop there. The only problem is that 2 days was not nearly enough time. Here I met a bunch more Aussie, “Surprise surprise, you guys really are everywhere, I’m starting to wonder who’s actually living in Australia” , Janey, Kate, Phil, Lauren, Pete & Michelle.

Where we stayed wasn’t even really a hostel; you went to reception and then they took small groups of us and put us all in different apartment style dorms scattered all over the town. Janey & Kate went one way, Pete & Michelle no idea, and then Phil, Lauren and I, where we met two kewl Americans; Cody and Eric who joined our newly formed family. First thing we did was dive into the Mediterranean and chill on the rocks; this being my first time in salt water, “Have to learn to swim with my mouth closed cuz it tastes bloody awful.” – Riogamorre, Cinque Terre, Italy. It was a pretty laid back night. We made a huge stir fry, “Finally cuz I’ve been carrying that 3 kilos of rice with me since Munich, thanks Briege lol” We had some drinks and played lots of cards, including Spoons, which is a game Cody officially hates. After a few people retired for the night the rest of us decided to go for a little trek along the rock pier. Then Cody and Phil had the genius idea of racing back in the pitch dark, “How you guys made it unscathed is beyond me.” I walked Janey back to her place through this coastal maze that is a town and that was day one.

Day 2 was all about out the big hike; 9 km’s along the coast up and down the hills through all 5 towns. It took 5 hours with a few short stops in each town. But the reward at the end and all the sights along the way made it by far one of the, if not the best day of my trip so far. I have pictures, but once again they do no justice. This is something that can only be shared properly with those you’re there with, “Cheers guys.” In the last town of Montorosso we hit the beach. First thing the guys did was our best Hasselhoff Baywatch dive. After a minute Cody realized he’d brought his camera with him. We all kind of felt bad for him until Phil pulled his camera out as well, “Sorry guys, but 2 cameras in one go is just too funny.” On the upside Phil didn’t lose his photos, and it was actually Cody’s ex’s camera. After a couple hours in Montorosso we jumped on the train back to our town. Which only took, as Phil would put it, “A cheeky 15 minutes.” That night we all did our own thing for dinner and met back up for some drinks and cards… more Spoons. Afterwards Phil, Janey and I made another trip to the rocks with a bottle of wine, which seemed to be a popular thing to do as there were a few other groups doing the same. We just sat there chatting and enjoying the uniqueness of this little hidden coastal town. Definitely a place I’d like to return to.

Rome

2009-07-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

The first night our little Rome family checked out the fountain where if you throw one coin over your shoulder it means you're coming back and if you throw two coins it will give you luck. I fumbled them and we're not sure it 1 or 2 went in, so like everything else with me... who knows. Afterwards we walked through the city to the Palantine and them by night the Colisseum. Them found a pretty decent restaurant and had dinner in to shadow of the Colisseum; definitely one of the top 10 moments of the trip.

Day 2 we had lots of walking and things to see and do but because of the rain we only ended up going to the Colisseum again. This time we went in and spent a solid hour and half; didn't realize it was a partial museum inside as well. Then the rain hit, it's amazing how quickly all the Indian guys selling fake Prada bags suddenly pull out dozens of umbrellas, "You wet, you wet, 10 Euro umbrella." "Thanks captain obvious but since I'm already soaked the umbrella is kinda useless." As soon as it stopped raining the umbrellas went back into the fake Prada bags, "They should have been doing some sort of combination deal." That night was pretty chill. We bought one use bbq╒s and had some burgers and hot dogs and it was another early night.

Day 3 somehow we all missed each other at our meeting point so it ended up being Becky and I for the day. First we went to St. Peter's Square and toured through the Vatican. Funny thing is that we were more excited finding places that movies had been filmed: Eurotrip, Angels & Demons etc. Then it was off to the Vatican Museum where we came up with the "Theory of 98% Idiots" We spent about 1 1/2 hours there as we made our way to the Sistine Chapel, It wasn't exactly what I expected but nonetheless still remarkable to stare up at some of the most renown pieces of work in the world. As bad as it sounds we really couldn╒t be bothered to see anything afterwards, "This is also explained further in the 'Theory of 98% Idiots'" So we made some sandwiches and had lunch out front of Castello St. Angelo. Not too worried about missing some of the other sights, we got to see what we wanted see plus a few other things. That night we had the bbq's going again and cooked up a feast over a few drinks and some pool.

The next morning was time for our Rome family to split, including Becky and I after our 2 week adventure. Now I╒m off to Florence for 1 night (had to cut off 2 nights there because of Venice, but I'm happy that it worked that way though, Florence seemed a bit boring), then to Cinque Terre for 2 nights.

Venice

2009-06-27T09:54:00.000-07:00

First night in Venice they tell us we’re lucky cuz we’ve arrived for the toga party, “I know what this means” Next day we find out that they do toga parties every other night for Topdeck, “About as predictable as their tours” For our first day we went into Venice and wandered around aimlessly until we found all the kewl things you’re supposed to see, “Finally a place where a map is just as useless to everyone else as it is to me” Venice is a great place to get lost in and explore the little shops, markets and admire the intricate architecture. However, once you’ve done it it’s kind of boring. That night we had pizza for the 2^nd in a row, then just relaxed and played some pool.

Day 3 we decided we’d go back to Venice to see it at night. But for now, time to chill out by the pool, and that we did long enough to lose “Tim the Whinger” (an annoying guy who bitched about everything). He went into town and Becks and I kinda missed the bus, “Oh well so we don’t get to see Venice at night.” Had some more pizza and our free beer and cheap wine then played a game of beach soccer where Dan and I showed the Aussie and UK kids that North America can play as well, “Some of them were legitimately surprised that we even knew what we were doing.” Now for toga part 2, why?... “Cuz we’re a bit tipsy and the pool is closed, probably for the best.” That night ended with me lending my cabin to a friend and me crashing at a friend's cabin and because I had no form of alarm I woke up to the sun beaming in my eyes completely unaware of the time. I look out the window and can still see the bus, “Phew” I grab my toga sheet and walk outside to see the bus leaving, “Shit” So now I walk back to my cabin in my boxers and a bedsheet, “Sounds like a good name for an album… Boxers and a Bedsheet”… oh well.

So with an extra couple days we continued to chill out by the pool and relax, “It was kind of like a vacation from traveling, haha never thought I’d say that, how many of you must hate me right now lol.” On the other hand we did finally make it into Venice at night and… boring. It was a nice to see but as I said before there just isn’t much to do. We had one last fun night there but 3 toga parties in 5 nights was a bit much so we had our own little shindig sing along and brought the party to us. After some dramatics with some frat boy Melbourne kids a few of us crashed in Kim’s tent which we found out wasn’t water proof. The next morning I did make the bus and left our Venice family behind. Overall, Venice is an interesting place to see for a day but is actually quite a boring city. Plus side to me missing the bus is Becks and I have a few more travel days together, lost the annoying Tim and picked up a kewl Aussie Tim and Gaving who’s also from Australia but works in Banff. So there’s our Rome Family.

Munich

2009-06-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

Well before we got to Munich we made one small stop in a country called Liechtenstein, which I think is the 6^th smallest countries in the world. We arrived in Munich around 5:30 and by 7 had started our pub crawl. Not eating before a pub crawl is one thing, but before a German is just stupid. The first hour “power hour” was all-you-can-drink, “This is getting fully taken advantage of, hell I’m traveling on a budget I’m gonna straight up abuse this opportunity.” After more than my fair share we happily travel to the first of three beer halls/gardens, “I think this one is the supposed to be biggest in Germany, but I’m drunk… it’s massive and I can’t find the toilet, there’s something these other 1000 people know that I don’t.” There we got our steins and our 2^nd of 3 free Jagers. I remember getting to and drinking at the 2^nd garden. After that there was a quick flash of walking, being on the tram……………. Waking up in bed with pizza crust in the sheets. Now back to sleep to kill this hangover.

Day 2 was pretty relaxed, the girls went on a bike tour and I just went for a walk to the Marienplatz. There’s was tons of stuff going on; everywhere you turn there were festivals, shows, street vending, specialty foods, etc. And to my surprise lots of people were dressed up in old-fashioned German style. I then found out that lucky us, happened to be in Munich for Munich’s birthday. So everything made a bit more sense and it was at this moment I realized that tonight would be another drunkfest. No choice, its Munich’s birthday. At 7 I met up with everyone and they all had the same realization I did. So beers in hand again as we try to put together the pieces from the pub crawl. We had some pizza, got ready and hit the beer halls with our new found American friends.

Day 3 started better for the simple fact that I didn’t have any left over food in my bed. Today was far more relaxed. Becky, Briege & I went on a tour to Dachau Concentration Camp. This was the first camp built and was the model for the rest and also acted as the headquarters for the SS Army. Here they introduced and tested their methods, rules, etc. for all the other camps to follow. Our tour guide did a fantastic job, but to just stand there knowing what was happening in that exact spot this time 65 years ago was very……….

That evening the 3 of us just chilled out in the lounge catching up on computer stuff. After 6 hours on the net and uploading hundreds of photos (of which none were mine… Briege, Becky, only you two I’d let get away with that, even after telling my friend from home to come try my bratwurst)… right, so after the internet business we went out for a proper German dinner. All the meals were delicious, “Wish I could say what they were, but they consisted of every letter in the alphabet plus a few extras.” That pretty much brings Munich to an end (for now… got my hostel booked for Oktoberfest) where we say good-bye to Briege as she takes off to Budapest and Bicky and I head to Venice in the morning.

Lucerne

2009-06-22T07:24:00.001-07:00

There wasn’t tons of stuff to do here but I figured I’d stop here for a couple days since Lauterbrunnen didn’t offer much a Swiss culture. Again the scenery here was fantastic and seemed very small, maybe that’s just because of the mountains though. For the two days we spent here we checked out Lucerne’s famous towers and bridges dating back to 1333 and the Lion Monument carved into the side of a mountain. It was built in recognition of Swiss mercenaries that had died. Briege, Becky and I also saw Angels & Demons. Good film and even that was interesting; had an intermission and the seats lean back and get lower the further from the screen they are. There’s not much to say about Lucerne except that it was nice to see and experience a bit of Swiss culture including rosti, fondue and some beer of course. I was a nice quiet break before spending the weekend in Munich.

Lauterbrunnen

2009-06-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

Seeing the scenery on the bus ride was enough to make me questioned why I never considered Switzerland as a stop. Easily the most amazing landscape I’ve seen. To see where the mountains meet the sky and see everything around it dwarfed by it’s magnitude is something that must be seen, hence the reason I didn’t take pictures of some of the best scenery because no picture or words can do it justice, so I’ve kept those images for myself.

On the bus I met Dave from Melbourne, Tom – NZ, Becky (briefly in Paris) – NZ and then picked up the rest of our entourage in Bern: Grant & Grisha – Australia, Briege & Elizabeth – Australia and Dan (also met briefly in Paris) – USA. That night we all had some dinner at the campground restaurant then got to know each other while getting drunk at the pub.

Next day Dave, Becky and I did some white water rafting through the Alps. At one point we got to jump out and just cruise alongside the raft then came to a point where two rivers of different colours met. But the best part was the end when you suddenly emerged from the mouth of the ricer into the lake at the bottom of a valley and are surrounded by walls of white tipped mountains in 360 degrees. That night we simply relaxed in front of our cabin chatting and quickly had many Contiki passer bys join us on their way to and from the pub.

Our last day there we all went for a hike to Trummelbachen which takes you inside the Alps to see interior waterfalls, rivers and pools. Also on our hike we got to witness gay and lesbian cows and Grisha found out how a tiny rope can keep the cows on the farm; because it’s electric, this was quite amusing for the rest of us. That night we found cheap wine & beer and just had a small cabin party to which we all got really and they got see my level of drunkenness measured by how loud I get. The next morning I wake up to Dave yelling, “We have 20 minutes to catch the bus” But being drunk geniuses the night before, everything was already packed. That morning we parted ways: Dave & Elizabeth to Nice, Grant & Grisha to Lake Como and Briege, Becky, Dan & I to Lucerne.

Paris

2009-06-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

A bit hung over from the night before (should have seen that coming) I board the bus to Paris. Happy to be leaving London I do have to say bye to the IPG crew for now. Byron, tear... ok Party Boy you get a tear too.

So my first night in Paris was dominated by Canadians; Jeremy from Toronto, Joe from Vancouver, 2 girls from Calgary and another Joe from Atlanta. All of us had arrived that evening so we bought a few bottles of wine, which is ridiculously cheap, and hung out at the Eiffle Tower. Pretty kewl.

Day 2 we did a 3 hour walking tour that actually lasted 10 hours. Reason being, it's not a true Scottie Baker trip until you get lost. Half way through the tour Jeremy and I take a few pictures and a group of 30 people somehow disappear in 30 seconds. Oh well, we went to see everything on our own and on our way to L'Arc de Triomphe we ran into the Joe's and a new girl from Australia who's name I can't remember. So we get to the Arc where Joe, Jeremey and I get kicked out by police because we J-walked. Fair enough it is one of the biggest/busiest round-abouts in Europe, but to our credit there was very poor signage. So anyway, we wait 5 minutes and sneak back in and play a game of cat and mouse around the Arc for a half hour with the police. After that was over off the La Tour Eiffle again. This time we paid the 7 euro (which was the cheapest thing in Paris, 10 for a burger and fries 7 to go to the top of one of the most famous structures in the world, figure that out) and climbed the stairs to the second level where you must take a lift to the top . Not to mention the line to take the lift from the bottom is ridiculous for all the lazy bastards. I'm far more impatient than I am lazy and it only takes 5 minutes to walk up each level. After too much walking and too many stairs we we picked up a few more cheap bottles of wine (I got one for 1.48) and drank until 4am watching youtube... including 32 balls to the face in 32 seconds copliments of Shwin and some Kat Williams from the Brundock Saint.

The next day feeling a bit rough we checked out Sacre Couer which was super kewl, Moulin Rouge which was nothing special but I'm sure was more interesting on the inside for a 90 euro cover charge. Then we went to Notre Dame, the Lourve again but this time was far better because it was at night and there weren't 100's of people. The Pantheone, Chapelle, L'Opera and St. Michael were among other stops we made. Most definitely a very vibrant city but very very expensive. Now to just enjoy the scenic countryside on the way to Lauterbrunnen to have some fun in the Swiss Alps.

Number 2

2009-06-06T06:50:00.000-07:00

So the march down the hill has begun and I need to use the washroom. So I quicken my pace and almost begin my second roll down the hill. It's hopeless, I accept the fact that I'm not going to make it to a washroom and I veer off into a forest area leaving my stuff with a kewl Aussie dude named Angus. As I scramble through the trees to find cover and a suitable spot, I manage walk right through a huge mud patch almost losing one shoe... So I find a decent spot and drop trow against a tree. My business is done and I need some of nature's toilet paper. Here is where the problem starts; all the leaves around me are prickly and left a stinging sensation with my hands. So with leaves no longer an option I must sacrifice the boxers (and those of you following my blogs are probably already giggling knowing where this is going). Sad to see them go but desperate times call for desperate measures. The collateral damage has been done and I pull up the pants, trudge my way back to the hill and continue my decent. When a light breeze passes through my pants I'm reminded of the massive rip in the crotch area my jeans suffered tumbling down the hill. But with my problem solving skills at a drunk high today I manage to make it home with no one the wiser. All it took was a strategically placed T-shirt tucked into my belt, walking a certain way and playing the right angles.

Cheese Rolling

2009-05-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

Here's the breakdown, basically a bunch of people (drunk, crazy or both) take their spot on the starting line at the top of Cooper's Hill. They release a wheel of cheese and the first person down the hill to catch it wins. If you're wondering why it's not called 'Cheese Chasing' it's because everyone ends up rolling down the hill... and there's nothing graceful about it. So I figure why not add another ridiculous competition/championship to the trophy case along with Chicken Chuckin... props to Junes, Lynda, Burrows and Barks who was there in spirit.

So the day starts off like any other annual event; booze for breakfast. We're on the bus by 10 am and everyone is drinking, singing Ring of Fire compliments of Rewen and some have already passed out from partying the night before. After a few hours the onboard toilet was almost full and we arrived just in time. We pile out and start our trek up the hill...

Sober - 30 mins

Drunk - 1 hour

Drunk carrying Super Drunk - 1 1/2 hours

Yes I had to carry a super drunk girl 3/4 of the way up the hill until I found the other super drunks and left her there. I continue my climb and find some other guys from our group and start drinking Jameson's as we climb the part of the hill you roll down.

So finally after climbing the hill and waiting in line I'm led to the starting line where for the first time I see how steep the hill actually is, and as I swayed drunkenly in the wind I thought about how I was going to win a Wheel of Cheese for team U.W.U.C.C.T. The sound goes and we all start descending the hill. I'm doing well as I run then slide, then run and slide until I hit a plateau on the hill. From there it was a blur of ground, sky, ground, sky, fat guy, sky, ground, sky... somehow back on my feet running way too bloody fast like a 3 year old who's feet can't keep up with his body.... BOOM, sliding face plant at the bottom. A bit sore and dizzy I stagger around looking for the cheese until an organizer tells me there's only cheese in the first 5 races, "Wait, you telling me I just barreled down a stupid steep hill, ripped the hell out my pants and suffered multiple injuries I'm not fully aware of yet... for NO CHEESE!

However, it was fun and quite the rush. As a spectator it is hilarious to watch. For the day I witnessed a couple concussions and a broken ankle. But the funniest came to a drunk spectator watching from a tree fell out of the tree then rolled half way down the hill.

Now for the long walk back... uh oh, I need to # 2 be continued...

Trip Planning

2009-05-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

Week two at the job wasn't quite as good as the first, only made 210 pounds. Still works out to be roughly the same as the pub, just a lot less hours, more relaxing and we all go out partying... feeling a bit more at home now. Now a new stress has come up... finding someone to take my room so I can get my 300 pound deposit back; somehow it always finds its way back to money. Good thing is that I haven't signed any contract so I can leave whenever I want, however, that 300 pounds can go a long way with the trip I've won.

June 1st I'll be in Paris to start a 6 week trek through 20 cities in 6 different countries. The loops will take me through France, Switzerland, Germany, Austria, Italy, back through southern France into Spain and back into France to finish in Paris. And if I can do some awesome sales in the next couple weeks I'll even sneak in an 8 day cruise in Croatia or Greece.

What's even better is that I'll still have one loop left to use before the end of September which means a 2nd trip back out here for Oktoberfest. Also stops in Belgium, Netherlands, Czech Republic, and 2 in Germany. Afterwards if I really want I can return to this paintball job... even after a 4 month hiatus. Still a long way away though, right now I have to get ready to get drunk and watch some much missed hockey... Canada vs Russia rematch

Finally

2009-05-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

So I've been in the UK for just over 3 months and I've finally got things sorted to a point where I'm happy. The pub job that was making me utterly miserable and basically ruining this trip is now gone and I've just finished the first week at my new job. The new job is something I would have never imagined myself doing; I'm a street peddler. That's right, I stand on the street each day trying to sell paintball packages (at least it's a kewl thing I'm selling), sometimes I even get to hit the universities until we're escorted off the premises.

Basically my day consists of meeting in the morning with everyone and chilling out for an hour or so before heading off to different areas of the city. Once in our spot I call out short catchy ads or anything I really feel like to get someone's attention. I flirt with the girls and make fun of the guys, and it's really easy to make fun of most London guys, "Oh paintball hurts... It's too aggressive... I don't want to ruin my clothes" yes I've had people say that to me, nancies. Once I have someone even slightly interested the game is on, and I'm quickly learning how to become a sly sneaky selling SOB... I don't have much choice since this job is strictly commission based.

It seemed like an odd choice for a job and something I wasn't sure I could do or if I'd be able to make any money doing. But after a week I can't complain, I make my own hours, get to see the city and soon other parts of the UK (when I move to other areas they provide company housing for 7 pounds a week), work and party with kewl people; hell, we have drinks while working if we want to... As a bonus to all this, I seem to be pretty good at it. I sold a package on my very first pitch and just made 580 pounds in my first week, compared 800 pounds in a month at the pub... I think I may have just found that hook that could keep me here.

Alexandria

2009-04-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

This was easily the most stunning part of the trip. Right on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea, it was hard to go wrong. Here we visited one of the oldest libraries in the world, unfortunately it was closed for a Christian Holiday, "Show up to a predominantly Muslim country on a Christian holiday, how ironic." On that note, the city was packed and took forever to get anywhere. This is how it breaks down:

Getting there 3 hrs

Tomb - Library 1.5 hrs

Library - Castle 1/2 hr

Castle - Beach 2 hrs

Getting home 6 hrs

Total 13hrs

Yes, we spent 13 hrs (including lunch) of our day on a bus... would I change that, hell no. The sights alone were amazing, plus I got to run around the Citadel of Qaitbay (a really kewl castle) for an hour and the was the kind of castle you imagine as a kid; tiny staircases , secret looking rooms, numerous paths and passageways to get to the same places, multiple levels to fall off, a big courtyard for battles.... it was kewl.

Next there was the beach. We had to be taken to a private beach because our tour guide thought we would be harassed too much at a public beach. Didn't seem to matter much, being the tourists we still became the attraction. For example, the day before two girls slowly and very shyly approached me blushing about as red as I do. They knew very little english and obviously I know no arabic so the conversation didn't go very far, but they were excited just be having the conversation and afterwards asked to take my picture. They acted as if they'd seen a celebrity and for me I thought this odd, until the next day. At the beach in Alexandria it was like this 10 fold, and for everyone. People were following us snapping pics, taking turns talking to us, having photos taken with us etc. It was a very odd experience, we attracted similar attention other places we'd been but that was always people trying to sell us something. Here the attention was strictly from interest and excitement; I assume us being there was almost as rare for them as it is for us.

Overall, the whole trip to Egypt was not so much a vacay as it was an experience. To see some of the most amazing things that man has created and nature has to offer was simply unreal. But to actually see and speak with people that lead a life so different, a life that I've only seen through a newspaper or a TV, to actually see a town that's crumbling from 360 degrees is something else. I know there's far worse areas in the world, but to just get a taste gives me a whole new appreciation. Especially seeing how happy and relaxed people are because they don't concern themselves with all stresses and bullshit we constantly surround ourselves with... at least that's what I think.

Camel Ride

2009-04-25T05:04:00.000-07:00

So finally my long anticipated camel ride has arrived. Sherwin I don't care what you say going for a camel ride in Egypt is not the same as seeing one at the zoo, it's way kewler. Anyway, we get off the bus and there's a whole herd of camels just chilling out and one person snaps a photo. Instantly a guy jumps up and starts saying, (and there's a lot of this in the tourist areas) "Money, money, money" and following us asking everyone. "Dude are you kidding you didn't do shit, all you did was say the same word 3 times fast, I have dogs that can do better tricks." But no one gave him money which is good. There were other people who we did give money to because they actually did something like take pictures for you or dress you up, stuff like that.

Back to the point. Camels, a lot bigger than I thought, and when they growl they are mean looking Mofos (yes I've just brought that word back from Grade 8). My second surprise was the big Canada flag they had hanging at the stable. On that note the group I traveled with were from all over: Jamaica, Spain, Vietnam, Brazil, U.S. and China, and our guides had some quirky associations/jingles for some of us.

Spanish - Ola ola Coca Cola..........?

Canadian - No woman no cry Canada Dry, Canada Forever

Doesn't make much sense but sounds good, and it was still one up on the Americans

Americans - Howdy howdy, Hi ho Silver Yeeeeeehaaaaaawwww

Okay, still trying to get back to the point. So the camel ride was relaxing, they took us out into the desert where we had a distant view of the pyramids and were able to just chill out and watch the sunset which was just astonishing. Now on the way back things got a bit more interesting, for me at least. Half way back my camel decided he had had enough and he was done work for the day. So he started pulling at the other two camels we were tied to and running into the other groups of camels causing a big camel jam. It was kind of like being trapped in Madusa's hair except surrounded by angry camel heads instead of snakes. I repeat, "Mean looking Mofos" So after the camel jam and attempted run away, the guide has to come and separate us from the group and have to walk back alone with the guide. Reminds me of getting in trouble in elementary school then having to walk with the teacher during recess, "Ugh, this is so humiliating."

Cairo

2009-04-23T04:06:00.000-07:00

While in and around Cairo we did the majority or our tours and activities. The first night we had a dinner boat cruise down the Nile which is somewhat of a surreal experience when you realize you're lying on a deck staring through the stars floating down the longest river and most famous river in the world.

Day 2 consisted of the typical tourist stuff that most would associate with Egypt. We saw the Pyramids of Giza which were also something to just stare at in wonder. The shear size of them is intimidating, something that pictures can only attempt to capture. Just thinking that these structures have lasted for thousands of years and were built with such miniscule technology compared to what we have now is impressive and for us even embarrassing. We also stopped at a papyrus shop and saw how it was made and were given some brief lectures of some of Egypt's most popular symbols and drawings/themes. The biggest and only real disappointment really was the Sphinx. It was much smaller than you'd expect and basically just very boring to see. Then there was the Camel Ride....

Egypt

2009-04-23T03:56:00.000-07:00

After only 1.5 hrs of sleep over roughly 30 hrs I was in Cairo and exhausted. On the up side, I'm done with my horrendous pub job and have 10 days off until I start my new job doing paintball promotions. Egypt held a lot of firsts for me. It was the first time I've stared a day in cold miserable weather and a few hours later land in hot sunny weather... loved it. It's the first time I've been somewhere that doesn't speak english. Obviously the people we were dealing with through the trip could speak perfectly good english, however once venturing into the city on our own it became far more interesting. Not only is it a different language but a different alphabet, so it's impossible to even attempt to read or pronounce the language. Finally, being stared and gawked at the entire time was an interesting experience. At times you would get very dirty looks and was clear you were being talked about and probably made fun of. But the majority of the time the expressions were of interest, surprise and even excitement, especially in Alexandria.

Terminology

2009-04-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

Bits & Bobs - Things or Pieces

Shrapnel - Spare change

Pond - Atlantic Ocean

Reckon - Think or Figure

Fit - Hot or Sexy

Cue - Line

Quid - Buck/Money

Prawn - Shrimp

Fag - Cigarette

Puff - Fag

Crisps - Chips

Chips - Fries

Tube - Subway

Jacket Potato - Baked Potato

Lollie - Candy

Sweets - Dessert

Bollocks - Bullshit/Testicles

Rubbish - Garbage

Slim Lime - Diet

Humps - Speedbumps

Bloak - Guy

Jack - Guy from Swansea

A Laugh - A Good Time

Dribble - Drool

Brilliant - Awesome

Skittles - Form of Bowling

Arcade - Mini Mall or Plaza

Redundant - Fired

Motorway - Highway

Bottle Up - Restock Fridges/Shelves

Cardydd

2009-04-08T08:01:00.000-07:00

So I traveled to Cardiff for 4 days to see my cousins and get a much needed break from London. It was a good start to the month and ranks right up there with Edinburgh. My first night there I didn't do much, just had some drinks and got to know my cousins.

Day 2: My cousin Matthew took me around Cardiff Bay, Cardiff Castle and showed me the house my Grandpa grew up in and where the sweet shop my Nana used to own was, along with the pubs and other places they would hang out. That night would be our drunken adventure which consisted of countless pints, pool, getting turned away from one pub because I had a hood but people with painted faces were allowed in, "This is the most F'd up dress code ever, even worse than Big Bucks lol." The next pub brought the excitement of 3 bloaks (possibly Jacks**) picking a fight with one guy until realizing there were 7 of us and chose to insult us as they drove away instead, "I guess cowards have an international or something" Then we finish the night off at El Paso restaurant with pints and shots of Snake Tequila, "Why's it called Snake Tequila?... Oh, cuz there's a snake in the bottle" This then leads us to dressing up in ponchos and sombreros that are meant to be decorations on the walls, then my cousin Allen falls asleep and takes a table full of food to the ground with him.

Day 3: After finally getting out of bed we went to the Big Pit. This used to be one of the major coal mining sites in Wales. This was interesting to see because coal used to be the nation's biggest export and at one point Wales was the #1 exporter in the world. So we went on a tour underground to see the tunnels, stables and equipment. They managed to take something that seemed boring and make it very interesting and for me it was neat to see where my ancestors most likely worked at some point.

Day 4: Started with me getting my tattoo of the Welsh Dragon. It looks good except I'll be going back since I didn't want it to be colour, "Isn't that one of the most obvious things that would be established when getting a tattoo?... Yet somehow he missed that part of the conversation." So now I have a bright red dragon on my back. On the upside he drop the price and offered to fix it for free, "It's the least that can be done considering that's a pretty big F'ing mistake."

To conclude, Cardiff also ranks higher than London. The trip was tons of fun and a bit of a learning experience. To give a better idea of my cousins, the youngest is 33, married with two kids and these are the types of shinanigans they still get into. So there you go folks, that's where I get it from and from the looks of it I won't be growing out of it anytime soon, "Good luck everyone lol"

Souvenirs from Wales - Red tattoo that's supposed to be black

- Sombrero

**Check terminology post/blog/note

Last Friday

2009-04-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm sure those who have been following my stories or at least just read the last one are probably a bit curious how last Friday went. So here it is, and this isn't an April Fool's joke.

So there's two bars down this alley in Soho, one is at the end which is a pub, "This place looks good, pretty busy and some good looking girls out front." Waiting in line it turns the corner and suddenly we're at the entrance to G.A.Y. "You gotta be kidding me." So me and my buddy Lucas decide to stick around for a couple drinks with some friends from the hostel.

So we get inside and yeah, that was something different to see. I had an idea of what to expect but was still very surprised as to how "open" it was. You'd think it'd be like any other bar, an even number of guys and girls. Not a chance, the percentage was more like 85 - 15, "Great, so now I'm surrounded by a bunch of guys making out and a small group girls standing in a circle looking like a human version of stonehenge." So needless to say I didn't really fit in. But we have a couple pints and hang out when I get a text reading - Hello, Grandma here, I'd like my knickers back you heathen!!! - "What the hell does that mean and who sent this?" Thinking this is a joke I'm about to text back asking who it is when I get another text reading - I like totally like cereal... Wanna eat some with me? ps. you're paying... - Now I don't quite know exactly what that means but I know I won't like it judging from where I am. I look up at the TV which reads - Hot Canadian new to town... keens? (followed by my number) - My friends had put up this message on a text dating service the bar has, on my behalf. Thanks guys. Fair enough, if I was in their position I would have done the same. Everyone got a good laugh and I got a bunch of dirty creepy messages that night.

Bring on April

2009-03-29T17:44:00.000-07:00

So this past week was quite interesting. I somehow survived the month of March on only 200 pounds (which in London seems to be amazing considering how expensive it is). But it was good practice since my pay check was roughly 250 pounds short, which after rent is paid leaves me with 200 pounds to survive the month of April. However, they have recognized the mistake so as long as it doesn't ret rolled over to next month's pay I'll be fine; it they do that then at least May will be one hell of a fun month and April will be interesting since I have my trip to Cairo on the 17th and a couple days ago I set up a a short 4 day trip to Cardiff to see some cousins and explore half of my roots. So 2 trips in April will definitely make for the boredom that was March. There may also be a possibility of extending my time off following my Egypt trip and have a quick stint in Norway (possibly some national Vball championships). So there's the itinerary for April so far (as always it's subject to change). Another good thing that came of this week was finding out that once I get back from Wales I'll be full time in the restaurant part of the Albert so finally I'll be making some tips. To finish the week off, once I got paid I went to meet some friends from the Globetrotter (a hostel I stayed at) and it was our friend Tim's turn to choose the bar. So for the first half of the night I found myself at a gay club in Soho. But that's another story... stay tuned.

17c Fairholme Road

2009-03-23T06:26:00.000-07:00

This would be my new address as of March. Located in a nice quiet and safe area just 2 mins from West Kensington Station and a short 15 min tube ride to central London. There's the subliminal advertisement for anyone who would like to move in at the beginning of June as I'll be leaving London and moving on at that time.

Anyway, there's 6 of us sharing 3 rooms. 2 of Junior's Mexican cousins (sorry Junes, that joke is more for Onya) share the first floor room, 2 Aussie girls that Jenna has probably partied with at school in Melbourne share the room across the hall and I share a room with a kewl Kiwi named Joe. I've never shared a room with someone before but so far it's not too bad since everyone mainly hangs out in the living room, which has a balcony attached. However, that's nothing compared to the rooftop patio Joe and I have off our room. All in all it's a good place with some fun people, brings me back to the 45 Tupper boys.

Cheers

The Albert

2009-03-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

This is one of the oldest and busiest pubs in London. Just a few minutes walk from Trafalger Square and many of the most popular tourists sites. This is also where I work, and that being said it really makes me miss working at the Lions. If ever working at a bar or pub in London I'm sure somewhere in the fine print of your application it reads, "Work like a dog, get paid like a bitch" It's not what I wanted to do (for reasons I understand even more so now) but it's the easiest type of work to get and when you're running out of money you're not left with much choice. The good thing is that I've been given the "Bar Training 101: For Idiots, By Idiots"

10 Most Important Training Procedures

10. How to pour a beer

9. How to make mixed drinks ie. Rum & Coke, Gin & Tonic

8. How to clear a table

7. How to reset chairs and change wipe a table

6. What to do with dirty dishes: scrape them and send to kitchen

5. What to do with a dirty glass: put in glass washer

4. How to change a garbage

3. How to sweep

2. Always serve to the next in line

1. How to take payment***(sub set of rules)

*** Tell them how much it is

Take their money

Make sure there's enough

Give correct change

Say thank you

Yes I'm expected to say thank you to them after I serve them drinks, "Not fucking likely" Especially since 75% of our high class cliental look on you with their noses stuck so high in the air it's amazing they're not blind from staring at the sun all the time.

There's my short rant, back to the training. Surprisingly, I was not shown how to use the computer, debit machine, the hot food counter or where things could be found. But I guess that's common knowledge you're expected to know.

On the upside most of the people I work with are really kewl, and everyone is from all over the world and I'm getting to learn lots.

London - Round 2

2009-03-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

This time was much a much better start, mainly because the city wasn't shut down under 4 inches of snow. However, this time I realized how expensive the city really is, it's ridiculous. The first hostel I stayed at basically stole from you legally. Once you get there they give you all sorts of vouchers, one of them being free internet time on their computers. You soon find out that half the sites people use on a daily basis have been blocked, not to mention it was so slow I think they may still be using dial-up. Other option, use you're laptop and pay 15 pounds per week or 10 pounds per day. The other voucher you get is 2.30 off breakfast each day; the cheapest meal costs 2.75, "Still not bad, only 45p for breakfast." Until they charge you 30p for butter, 20p for jam and 15p for ketchup, "You sneaky bastards, and the food is shit except for the toast." So to solve these two problems simply go out for lunch one day and stock up on these items. For internet go to the far ends of the building and steal some locals signal. You may think I'm being cheap but this student house is just a money grab, they're the only hostel I've been to that doesn't have a common kitchen; forcing you to eat out or at they're "restaurant which is just a cafeteria, "F them"

Anyway, while there for a week I got things organized with banking and tax stuff. On a more exciting note I went a pub crawl and came out with a job. Only problem was I couldn't remember where, luckily they got in touch with me, ha. Later in the week we went for some Japanese food for dinner. I figured I'd try the Tiger beer, it they ask you if you want a large they don't mean pint, "Holy shit this thing is the size of a wine bottle." And do they give me a glass, no. "Oh no, everyone's looking at me waiting to see how I'm gonna drink this. Just act natural like you meant to order it." Didn't work, drinking a beer with two hands will never look natural. So after I finished my beer and everyone else finished dessert we went salsa dancing, "Haha, joke is on them, drinking world's largest bottle of beer will come in hand now... I think" Trick to going out dancing is to watch carefully for the first half hour. Not to learn the moves but to find the worst dancers then dance beside them so no one notices how bad you are. By the end of the night I'm not quite sure how it ended, needless to say the next day was not very productive.

Edinburgh

2009-03-06T17:33:00.000-08:00

This city was by far the best part of Scotland. How often can you walk out your front door and be greeted by a castle. It was definitely an awesome city, how can it not be with a with a castle in the middle of it. That being said you think it would be hard to get lost considering reference points don't get much better than that. But once again leave it to me and I'll find a way (obviously not the right way).

So I walk out the front door of the hostel and turn right (1), get some dinner, leave, turn right again (2) to find booze but don't find any so I turn right again (3) down a bust street and find a place. For those not paying attention I've taken 3 right turns, "The hell with walking back that way, I'll take another right to complete the circle and end up back on my street." Makes perfect logical sense, but only when streets actually go straight; suddenly I feel like I'm back in St. Catharines for the first time... which basically means I'm F'd. So after I realize my logic isn't working (because I've passed the same Vietnamese restaurant twice) I decide to cut my losses and retrace my steps. 10 minutes later I'm back at the same restaurant, "Maybe it's a chain restaurant?" look inside, "Nope, same family... and they're finished dinner and on to dessert now." And they're staring back wondering why I keep walking by look in on them. So those two roads didn't work, "The hell with it lets try this road." 10 minutes later I really have to go to the bathroom (#2) so I pick up the pace and can't anything. Turn a corner and of course the same restaurant taunting me, only this time I'm gonna get the last laugh. So after a couple Avril Lavigne songs (they were playing her cd, not very authentic I thought) I say good-bye to the family in the front window and leave with a solution that can't fail.

So 45 minutes later I've walked around the whole castle, "Fuck this was a stupid idea, at least I haven't see that Vietnamese place." I finally give up and flag down only the second cab I've seen all night and tell him where I have to go. He tells me, "That's not too far." I reply,"I don't care I just want to get there." He turns 2 corners which took all of 1 minute and costs me 4 pounds, "Thanks asshole, you could have told me where to go rather than just saying it wasn't too far. So I've officially been had for the first time on my travels.

My last day in Edinburgh I go on a free walking tour. It lasts about 2 hours (ironically the same amount of time I was lost). This tour took me everywhere I'd already been only this time I was being told what I was seeing and each time we walked past something I'd seen was like a kick in the nuts to realize how close I was the entire time.

And it you're wondering, the answer is yes, we did pass the Vietnamese restaurant.

Prestwick

2009-03-06T16:54:00.000-08:00

For those who don't know (and I assume most), Prestwick is a town on the west coast of Scotland about a half hour from Glasgow. If you don't know where Glasgow is, well believe it or not your geography is worse than mine... and that's pretty bad. First thing I noticed was how tiny everything was, from houses to streets to traffic lights and store signs. It's one place where being short is not only an advantage but a natural safety precaution.

For some reason in the UK they don't think street signs are overly important and it gets worse in the smaller towns. Put a couple signs at the ends of the street and all is good... unless you arrive at the street in the middle, now you're F'd. But just to give you a small sense of direction and hope, maps are labelled perfectly, "Most be one of things where it looked good on paper, but could never work in real life. Well I have a hint, street signs work really damn well." So anyway, after walking around lost for two hours the map became more of a piss off than anything because the only way it was of any use was if I was 500 feet in the air with a bird's eye view of how the streets turn and curve.

However, the upside to this excursion was the scenery and being out by the sea. the mountains/hills (not quite sure what they're actually referred to) in the distance with the clouds resting on top looked pretty awesome. Not to mention all the golf courses that line the coast. Not only did it look gorgeous but the weather was nice enough that people were playing a round in February. The weather the next day wasn't so good since snow covered everything, but that still didn't stop them even though it works against them in every possible way.

First, the golf carts can't handle it because as mentioned in my previous blog, if a little bit of snow can shut down London, what chance does a golf cart have. Second, because everything around them is white, their ridiculous outfits attract the human eye even more. Thirdly, and you would assume most obvious, they would realize they're hitting a tiny 'white' ball hundreds of yards away from them into a big field of 'white' snow. Then, after getting their cart unstuck and pushing it halfway along the hole, they're all asking each other if they saw where each others' balls went. Unable to find them they pull out a new set of 'white' balls and repeat the same process. I must say though, it was impressive. They're probably more dedicated to golf than Canadians are to hockey. I'll be honest, if I'm playing pond hockey and keep tripping on rocks or go through the ice I think I'll just call it a day, not move over and hope for the best.

First Day in London

2009-03-06T16:36:00.000-08:00

The first half of the day was boring, I wandered around the airport, had lunch and just killed time until my next flight (to Glasgow). I go to check-in and find out it's been cancelled along with dozens of other flights due to bad weather. I look outside and it doesn't seem too bad, "Must be pretty bad in Glasgow". Oh well, now to find a place to sleep, so I book a hostel called St. Christopher's. I go to take a bus to get there but all the buses in the city have been shut down. This is when I realize that the storm is in London and these people can't deal with snow any better than a dog can deal with a vacuum, they just stare at it and freak out. Next I try the train which I find out only one is running every hour. While waiting in this chaos and commotion I notice that the police are just as quirky as they are in the movies. Always acting like everything is a rush (even though it's very clear no one is going anywhere in London today) and never-ending with the whistles. I'm pretty sure I saw one cop talking out one side of his mouth and blowing his whistle out the other side.

So I get on the train and doze in and out thinking who cares if someone tries to pick-pocket me, someone already had and got my wallet. I get to the next station and realize I wasted money paying for the ticket cuz no one checked at either end. Pay 30 pence to use the washroom (or more correctly over here, the "toilet") then wait almost an hour to catch a cab. While chatting with the cabbie I learn that this is the biggest snowstorm they're had in 18 years, "Figures" I get to the hostel, get ready for bed and in the process find my wallet, at least the day ended on a good note.

My conclusion of London after Day 1: London is like an elephant. It's big, everyone has heard of it and everyone wants to see it at least once... but, when it sees a mouse it freaks out and doesn't know what to do. When London sees snow they think, "HOLY-FUCKING-SHIT.... A MOUSE"

ps. Total snowfall = 8 inches over 2 days

Getting to London

2009-03-06T05:17:00.000-08:00

Well to start, the airport wasn't all that bad, kind of a neat place actually. the plane itself also wasn't bad, the process of the whole thing was pretty smooth and the plane was comfortable. Take off: That made me nervous as expected, did not expect, however, to look out the window and see the wings bouncing up and down like a gymnast on a trampoline, "This is a plane, not a bird, don't know much about planes but I've never seen a plane that has wings that flap."

Anyway, we take off and go through all the shaking, rumbling, accelerating at warp speed action and we're in the air. I look across the aisle out a window and the earth is diagonal which was kewl, but expected since they show it in movies all the time; that other stuff that makes you nervous, never see that in movies. So now we're in the air, we've leveled off, they're serving us drinks and I realize it isn't so bad, a lot noisier than I expected though. I look at the TV which has stats about the flight: how long, how far... how fast "600 something mph, ok I see why it's a bit noisy, then a movie pops on, sweet"....... We get served dinner and meh, not surprising but not disappointing. then the plane starts shaking, seatbelt light comes on and the captain says we're experiencing turbulance, "What the hell, I thought turbulance happened at take-off and landing with the shaking and warp speed shit" (go ahead, shake your heads and make fun, it's my first time being on a plane). Anyway, it stops shaking and everything is back to normal. I'm a bit nervous and my palms are a bit sweaty. The TV pops on again with stats. This time it shows a map of where we are; not feeling so good again, " We just went through turbulance and now they're showing that we're in the middle of a great big fucking ocean, that's the stupidest thing they could have done next to performing loop-de-loops" (Hey Pisan, going to London you don't fly anywhere near Greenland or Iceland, but thatnks for trying to make me feel better) Ok, so I got used to the mid-ocean turbulance and all that jazz and just want to sleep. Hit the recline button and nothing happens, "Great" Whatever, I try to sleep but doze in and out a bit until I'm informed that my seat reclines, "Oh really, that's why the chair in front of me is 6 inches from my nose and everyone else is almost lying down, thanks tips" So I continue dozing in and out until the sun starts coming up and I'm staring out the window again to see us fly in and out of the clouds and the land below; this was the best part of the flight. It was momentarily interrupted when the two girls sitting at the window looked at me oddly, "Don't flatter yourselves ladies, I'm looking out the window" So I kept looking out the window until we landed cuz it was kewl. With the landing came the most informative thing I heard all flight, "That shaking and large thud we felt was us landing"... "Oh really, thank god cuz I thought it was the turbulance finally getting the better of us" Getting off the plane, customs, finding my luggage... meh, meh, meh.